15 years. 15 years ago I went on a first date that would forever change the future of my life. I remember this day like it was yesterday. I was just a teenager and I was in my bedroom throwing everything out of my closet and yelling to my mom, “I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!!!” She came in to help and would pick out a few things and I would gripe and say “NO!, he is going to know that is from last season, he works there!” There, being Abercrombie & Fitch, because that’s where every cool teenager worked back then. *laughing as I type that* And last season, meaning probably last month, cause Lord KNOWS Mama Jules always let me have all the ‘in style’ things I could dream of! But lets face it, I was being a teenage brat in the moment and wanting something that hit the shelves that week, because I was going on a date with PATRICK, and this wasn’t like any other date…we finally came up with the cutest outfit and I was ready to roll!
Now lets go back to what I mean about how this was not like any other date. This was my first date after my first huge heartbreak. Now let me tell you the dets on that backstory so you can see why this was such a huge deal/date for me! So, the first love. We will call him Clay. So I met Clay in college and fell head over heels in love. You know, the bad boy, skater kid that your mom rather put you in nun school for the rest of your life and never see you again, than date this guy. Yep, that was Clay. And I LOVEDDDD him, loved him so much I remember waking up in the morning and counting all the hours I would get to spend with him that day. Long story short, I wanted to marry him. And if I had it my way, I would have. Thank God, fate intervened. One day, I heard from a friend that his sister had a graduation party at their house and Clay slept with one of her friends. I honestly refused to believe it, no one could believe it because Clay (while a bad boy) treated me like a queen and adored me, (or so I thought). Fast forward a couple days and I found a picture of her in his car. Cue knife to the gut, I had all the proof I needed. I broke up with him then and there. I was GUTTED over it. I’m talking couldn’t get out of bed, couldn’t eat for DAYS, and if I’m being honest, didn’t want to wake up in the morning. After some days went by of me being so depressed, I called him, I was weak, I was a teenager, and I called him to beg him back. Yes, you read that right, I wanted him back. Can you even imagine?! I’m literally just shaking my head as I type this wishing I could go back and shake 19 year old me. So he picked up the phone, and I’m crying and telling him how badly I want to get back together and he says, “Hang on.” and he orders Wendy’s for himself and his new girlfriend. That was the moment. I hung up the phone immediately and was thinking what in the hell did I just do?! Did I seriously just ask this guy to get back together with me?! Here I am day 3 or 4 of literally not eating a thing, it got to a point where my mom literally had to force me to eat soup. And here this jerk is at Wendy’s with his new girlfriend having the best time. That was the wake up call I needed, I was sad for weeks, but I never wanted to even think about getting back together with him after that. So after weeks of my utter depression, my mom wanted to take me shopping to lift my spirits. I agreed, because if there was anything that was going to bring me out of this funk it was shopping! (Oh and did I mention, my parents also got me a cruise to the Bahamas with my best friend, to help lift my spirits. They did. That’s the kind of parents I have, utterly selfless, dream parents.) I still can’t get over that to this day. So lets get back to the shopping day. We headed out to the mall and walked into my favorite store A&F. Got some cute things, and went to check out. Before that though my mom saw a guy stocking shirts and said, well he sure is cute! Come to find out he was probably stalking me through the entire store. So I go to check out and now he is the cashier. He asks for my zip code, and I tell him, then he says “oh you live right near me! do you go to college there?” (He already knows the answer to this. Which I’ll tell you how next) and I say yes, and we find out we have some mutual friends. And end it with, maybe I’ll see you around campus.
Come to find out he had already been seeing me around campus for MONTHS. (Now, that I think about it he’s kinda like a lifetime movie stalker.) hahaha!! But for all those months he was seeing me walk around with Clay. I never saw him, because I had blinders on with Clay and never noticed another being. But he saw me, and he told our mutual friend Brandon, “I’m going to marry that girl one day.” And Brandon said,”Good luck with that bro, she’s in love with Clay and she is going to marry him one day.” This is my favorite part of the story, I never even knew Pat, never even said hello but yet here he was saying he was going to MARRY me. Pretty much the sweetest thing ever; like straight out of a movie!
Well fast forward a couple months after meeting in A&F, and I’m still single, and I’m with another one of our mutual friends. He convinces me to call Pat. So I do, and we exchange info and shortly after plan our first date.
I am getting butterflies just thinking about this night! I put my outfit on and ended up feeling super cute, he was going to pick me up at Applebee’s so he could meet some of my friends first, before we headed out to the movies. I mainly just remember getting in his car and thinking, ugh this guy is just way too cool for me, he’s so out of my league. (He says, he was thinking the same thing) *heart eyes* So I was so incredibly nervous I just kept telling myself, play it cool, act like you don’t even like him, act like this isn’t a big deal to you. So what I remember most is we sat down in the theater and I was sitting all prim and proper and then realized god, lauren, BE COOL, chill out. So I thought ok I’ll slouch down in the seat and put my feet on the chair in front of me to act as if I’m too cool for school and couldn’t careless that I’m hanging out with this guy. I also remember thinking, this is working, he’s totally falling for it, my cool girl persona was working and he was taking the bait. I may have won the battle, but he won the war, because it was the last date I ever went on. I was SMITTEN from the second I saw him walk through the door at Applebees. And after our first date I was on cloud 9!!! I never thought I would ever feel that way about anyone ever again. I didn’t even think it was possible, but it sure was. About a month later I was visiting Pat at his work and Clay called saying he really just wanted to talk. I told Pat I was going to go out to the parking lot just to hear what was so important and I’d be right back. (He wasn’t thrilled about that) Well Clay showed up and low and behold, he begged me back. Like they all do, once they realize what they lost, and that I had already moved on. I told him no, I’m with Pat now, and I did not want to get back together. What he didn’t know was that I was still in love with him, so it was still difficult for me. Think back to when you were a teenager, I don’t know about you but if a guy told me he was still in love with his ex he was DONE for. BYE. Well I told Pat during the first few months we dated that I would never get back with Clay but that I was still in love with him, and you know what young teenage Pat said, over and over? I don’t care, one day you won’t be and you will be in love with me and I will be here until that day gets here. That’s Pat for you. Some things never change. A heart of gold then, a heart of gold now. He helped me get through all of my trust issues and having all my walls up. Day by day, he would help me take a brick down until one day, there was nothing but a torn down wall on the dirt. He taught me to love again, trust again, feel worthy again. He taught me to love myself again and made me believe I deserved to be treated like an absolute queen every day of my life. Well here we are, exactly 15 years later since that date at the movies, and he continues to show me EVERY SINGLE DAY how much he loves me. Literally, BIBLE, not a day has gone by that he hasn’t made me feel that way. It may just be telling me I look pretty as I walk into Target in his over sized sweatshirt and leggings, or it may be when he brings me a glass of ice water every morning for me to have when I get out of the shower, or it may be when he surprises me with bag after bag or a dream trip to the St. Regis in NYC at Christmastime, it may be when he saves all the red and purple skittles for me even though he loves them, or when he strung lights all through our woods and set up a projector of one of my favorite movies Pretty in Pink. If I sat here and typed all of the things he does to make me feel loved this thing would be a novel. But I realize it’s rare, it’s rare what I have, it’s rare what we have. For that words would never be able to express my gratefulness.
This is not to say we haven’t had our arguments, if you can call them that. Pat doesn’t yell, or raise his voice, I’m actually not even sure he is capable haha. Now he does have a tone but that’s the extent of him in an argument. Now, this is another area I consider us lucky. We just don’t fight. It’s not our thing. If he upsets me I’ll give him the (stare away, or silent treatment for all of literally 2 mins because he can’t handle me being upset with him so he will literally talk my ear off until I talk to him and if that doesn’t work he will try again in an hour and say “Where do you want to go eat?” We will literally laugh and head out the door to eat. It gets me every time. I’ve actually gotten much better the past few years, in our younger years I would always want to “win” the argument. But now I’ve learned instead of just ignoring him and being immature about it, I should just express my feelings and tell him what upset me. Wow, brilliant idea coming from someone who has their Master’s in Counseling. I’m actually trying to sit here and remember the last time we had an argument so I can have an example, but I can’t think of one. Actually it just came to me! He was on the ladder putting the Christmas lights on the house and I told him that it is too dangerous and I wanted him to get down. He said it’s fine and he will be done soon. I was upset, I didn’t want him that high on the ladder. So I would say get down! And he would say it’s fine, I’m safe! The only other time we ever argue would be if I ask him to do something and he forgets, for example, babe, can you take the trash out it stinks, and he will say sure I’ll do it in a minute. (I hate taking out the trash or I would just do it myself, which I end up doing sometimes haha) but then he will forget and I’ll be like well if you just would have done it when I asked…or when we do a project together I always think my way is the right way to go about it and he will think his way is better; but that’s our arguments. Typical marriage stuff. We realized long ago, what is the point of arguing, we are together forever, till death do us part. So it’s actually just a complete waste of time. We are alike in so many ways but he is SO much more even keeled than me, he is my sounding board and my rock. When I’m upset with someone, I will vent it out to him and he always makes me feel calm. Even if he disagrees with where I’m coming from I still feel like he is on MY side and he will calmly discuss a different perspective to me and many times has helped me see I’m overreacting. He is my calming force that my enneagram 8 personality so desperately needs.
We realize we are very lucky, we realize not fighting is a rare thing. And we feel blessed that we don’t have reasons to fight and argue, but we also worked at that, 15 years of growing together, and literally growing up together got us where we are today. All the ups and downs and the waves of life and we realize what matters most. Us. Pat always says, “It’s me and you against the world.” And I wouldn’t have it any other way. He is the most selfless, devoted, loving, caring, kind, thoughtful, driven, wonderful human on the planet. And he’s mine. And I’m his, and long story short, don’t let one heartbreak break you, because what you don’t know is that a love story, the best love story you could have ever even imagined, is just around the corner, maybe in your favorite store. He’s out there, and he’s waiting for you and you will find him, and become happier than you ever even imagined was possible.